Pushed into the darker side .......

Love was what I lost. The only thing that I thought I possessed. But this love ruined me .... It brought out a worse man from a fun loving guy.
The girl I loved hated smokers as her father was a chain smoker. Thinking that she would put an objection to my action of smoking, I started smoking. We studied in the same coaching institute where she studied. Even being an engineering aspirant , i joined that 12 std maths coaching for her.That was one of the biggest mistake that I ever made.
One day I took out a ciggi from my pocket and started having that in front of her after our class got over. To my dismay , it never affected her. But the smoking thing never left me after that. This led me to even worse things. I stopped studying and ultimately the results were on the scorecard of school. Some how I only managed to pass. After the maths syllabus was over in the coaching, I was not even able to see her. I always walked by the side of her home in a fake hope of atleast seeing her. But .....
This continued for a while and I was the same Devdas with a broken heart. This continued till my two best friends (Abhishek Bhardwaj and Tanvi) decided to help me out. They called her and tried to tell her about me and clarified many things. But it was of no use. It was too late. They tried their best but failed.
On the 31 st January,2009. Tanvi called me. She had been my best friend since 8 th std and had shifted to Bhilai after 10 th std. She knew what I was going through and talked about it. We had a conversation over the phone for 2 hours and she convinced me to study atleast to pass with good marks. She believed in me. She knew what I am. She was there for me always and as usual she again proved why I considered her my best friend. For my parents and for my best friends, I set on my target again. I was back on track. I studied deeply for a whole month or you may say for 28 days and when the results were out, I got 88%.

My family was happy with my 12 th result. But what about me ?
I was still the same. I was not able to crack any good exam. I felt like a looser. I wasted my time thinking and crying inside. My friends got into good engineering and medical colleges and I was left alone. I had 2 options that time and I let my father decide it for me. - BITS pilani hydrabad branch for B.Sc. and M.Sc. (integrated course) and Mechanical Engineering at KIIT University. Dad chose the second option and I agreed to it because he is a Scientist and wanted me to be an Engineer.

But luck is what never favoured me.After the formal process of sending draft and all at KIIT University, which was done by my Dad coz I was at Dehradun, a friend called me and told me that "SHE" was joining KLS ( KIIT LAW SCHOOL, Bhubaneswar). I wanted to run away from my past but it followed me like hell.
I was scared. I wanted to live a normal life, make new friends and leave everything about my past far behind but this is what never happened.
And one day we met ............... ( to be continued ).

Life before TRUE LOVE entered .....

Love is what i wanted, love is what i found in you!

A ninth grade useless boy , totally pampered , an egoist boy . Called by his friends as PLAYBOY and CASANOVA. It was none other than me. I thought myself to be a self made youngster. Every other girl loved me and every other guy hated me for sure. This was what I thought.
I played with hearts of many girls and enjoyed seeing them cry out loud for me.They wanted me bad. When failed, they said one day you will pay for it.
Then in the mid of ninth grade something happened. I joined  coaching classes of Sir RAJ. A man I look up too, a man who had every experience of life and loved me just as my grandparents did. I love him n will always do. He told me every thing about life and also mathematics !!!
In his class there was a girl named "NIL%#A". The most attractive girl of our batch from a differebt school. My friends would say that she watches you all the time and my reaction would be its common. But my eyes would always search for her whenever she was late. My friends teasing me started a fire in my heart. Our eyes met and we started watching each other despite anybody saying anything.
The first time when we stood in front of each other was when Sir Raj asked her to put the desk inside and being a gentleman I alone helped her to do so despite my friend's saying no to my action.She started admiring my gentleness.
Oh I forgot to mention about my friend. His name is Kushagra. He is a lovely guy who lived near my house and always had a serious look on his face.He too was closely inspired by Sir RAJ.
Next time we talked was when my childhood friend Shaggy (her school mate) told her to inform me that it has been a while we had talked over the phone and my landline number was dead because I shifted from my house.She did so and I told her to carry my words to her so that she may not worry. Our interactions continued and we exchanged our e-mail ids and cell numbers. But we never messaged or called her.
Once i received her mail over some topic. She was stressed and like a good person i helped her and told her to relax and clam down. Something strange happened to me. From a PLAYBOY , i was turning into a nice guy for sure. I was shocked by myself.
Once I was coming back from a shop when her maid who accompanied her to the tuition stopped me and told me about her feelings for me. The only thing that crossed my mind was " OH GOD ". I confirmed if her maid was saying the truth or was just faking. I mailed her and her reply was a "YES". I was a shocking news. She then in her next mail asked me out. I said YES. It was all good.  The PLAYBOY was gone and a new person started living but these two titles of a PLAYBOY and CASANOVA never left me alone. I changed but peoples' views never changed. I was the same for them. They thought I would again cheat and get a new girl. But this was not what I thought.
Every thing was going good. I spent hours with her over the phone and in person. She was everything for me. We shared every happiness and sorrow with each other.Dogs were what she loved. Skating and basketball were her fav. sports and dancing was her passion.
I started loving her deeply and no other girl seemed good enough for me. She was the one I thought.
But as per other girls' curse over me my relationship with her started facing rough phases.Doubts and unfaithfulness started crawling in between us. Fights and more fights .... tired of looking at each others face and we stopped talking. This started an agony ... people came between us and aroused us against each other. I did doubt her love and that was my mistake. To show her that I m not alone , I got into a fake relationship with one of my ex-classmate. But i never touched her. Her doubts were cleared and she could see me cheating her and so she moved on. The day I decided to tell her the truth and clear everything once and for all, it had been too late. The person who aroused her against me got her. My love failed. I made a mistake and she made a bigger one.But it was not her fault at all. It was always me and my past that came between "the sweetest couple of PATNA" (That is what we were called). We broke up in the 12 th grade (that makes a 3 years of relationship) and I had been low since then till ..... Something Gr8 happened.
My love for her will never die but ...... (to be continued)
It is said - "First LOVE never dies but TRUE LOVE can bury it alive" :) ...... you will see what happened in the next post.